Delfine schwimmen schnell und leis
(man schreibt sie mit “ph” – ich weiß;
Dolphins swim quickly and quietly
(you spell them with “ph” – I know;

doch schreibt man ja auch Tele”f”on,
und das bereits seit langem schon) –
though writes one yes also telephone,
and this already since long already) –

He spells “Delphine” with f – “Delfine”
because the same sound is most commonly spelled with f (like in “Telefon”)

sie schwimmen (wie gesagt, mit “f”) –
sie schwimmen – vorn ihr alter Scheff
they swim (as said, with “f”) –
they swim – in front their old boss

(wir schreiben schließlich auch “Schofför”) –
sie schwimmen also durch das Meer.
(we write after all also “driver”) –
they swim thus through the sea.

Instead of “Chef” he writes “Scheff”
because most words with a sh-sound are spelled with sch (like “Schöfför”)

Was heißt durchs “Meer”? – Sogar durch “Meere”!
Und manche altgediente Mähre,
What means through the “sea”? – Even through “seas”!
And some veteran old mare,

wie überhaupt so manches Ferd
(mit “V” wär es total verkehrt)
as actually like some other horse
(with “V” would be it totally wrong)

“Ferd” instead of “Pferd”
because pf, just like the ph he noted, is more or less a f-sound

glaubt, es sei schnell wie ein Delphien!
(Das zweite “e” ist schlecht für ihn.)
thinks, it was quickly as a dolphin!
(The second “e” is bad for him.)

Orthogravieh – das sieht man hier –
ist nicht ganz leicht für Mensch und Tier!
Orthography – that sees one here –
is not really easy for man and animal!

“Orthogravieh” instead of “Orthographie”
v is also sometimes pronounced like f, so why not v instead of ph?
And a silent h.
Oh dear.